I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I've blown a few things in my day
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
