Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The beer is more important than you right now.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
