Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
