I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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