First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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