You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
