2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
