No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
