Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
