Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
