At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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