bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
