sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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