Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
