I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
