This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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