M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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