I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
