so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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