I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Randomize
