i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
