Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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