just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
