I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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