I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
