dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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