Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
