how can u be prego again
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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