Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
