Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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