did you get engaged???
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
