Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
