is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
