I smell stomach acid.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
