it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
