I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
are you so shy because you have an std?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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