They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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