Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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