We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
