hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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