i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
