it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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