The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
why do cheetos always look like penises
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
