Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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