grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Come on in and take your pants off
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