3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
