Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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