You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
