We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
