Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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